Having a 4th Baby at 36 Years Old
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Old, merely thinking of having a fourth!?
(22 Posts)
I am 38, just had our third kid this twelvemonth. I become very tired in the day later all my babies, I find I need to sleep in the day for almost an hour. This ordinarily lasts for near xv months. DS1 is 5, DS2 is 3 and DD is 7 months.
We would love 4 children, I don't feel that the family is complete. I repeatedly thought during my concluding pregnancy that I hoped this wasn't my last one. But wisdom would say I take very difficult babies,(terrible reflux for all of them affecting their breathing, and needing to be carried all the fourth dimension every bit they are unable to lie downward apartment) I demand loads of sleep and I am getting older. Only DH and I would notwithstanding like another. Time is ticking by. Is 4 much harder than 3? Positive or negative comments welcome.
with your smaller gap you will detect that the DC3 is dropping the nap while yous still need it for DC4.
Can you employ plant nursery/ childminder/ family assist to get a break?
How useful is DH?
My principal concern about having a third is that I would be tired and bad-tempered and not give all the DC the energy and patience they need. In addition I am starting to realise that DH seems much older with our second than he was with the showtime. There is only 4 years between them but information technology seems to accept made a lot of difference.
Do you think that 4 would be much harder for you than 3? Is 3 much harder for yous than 2? Different people might give you unlike answers to your question depending on the temperament of their babies and themselves.
Perchance give yourself some other 6m or until your youngest is a year old and then see how you feel?
Information technology sounds equally though although it's something you would like, you feel wearied past the thought of information technology at the moment.
Yes, exhausted at the thought of it. I do agree temperament is key. My DC3 is much easier than DC2 temperamentally, and I would accept had a third sooner, had I had her as my second. As well having a ii.5 yr old around, rather than a ii twelvemonth old, was also much easier, I can possibly choose the age gap, only not the temperament!
Cheers ladies.
I don't recollect you are old. I had my last when I had just turned twoscore, although some people may say that is quondam. Only I recall yous could hold on for a while. I am sure there are plenty of Mums on here who were older than 40 when they had a infant.
Why not expect until the tiredness from DC3 has finished and so see how yous feel. However difficult number. 4 was, you lot could comfort yourself with the thought that it is definitely the last! Know what yous mean about feeling incomplete. I e'er wanted 4 but stopped at 3 - defeated by difficult pregnancies and PND...
I don't remember you're too erstwhile to accept a 4th. However, I call up four is a lot more than work than 3 dcs specially when the youngest two are a baby and a toddler, and y'all've got two older ones that are still only trivial themselves. Y'all're on the get all the fourth dimension. (In some ways having say three preschoolers is easier because there is no schoolhouse run, they don't accept to have friends round in the same way they do when they're at school, and they don't need to practice any activiites).
If y'all stuck at iii dcs you would accept 2 dcs off at schoolhouse or nursery,and would only be managing 1 trivial 1 during schoolhouse hours (if y'all're non working). Taking your older 2 to after school activities etc is so much easier with merely one little one. Looking afterwards a baby and a toddler whilst trying to manage swimming lessons for the older two isn't much fun!
When 1 of the older kids has a party to attend it is a lot of piece of work sorting out the other 3 dcs. The older ane for instance would be besides young to be dropped off at a political party on his own so yous all demand to go out the car and become into the place belongings the party only to return a few minutes later with your ds safely dropped off.
Trying to do homework, with a baby and a toddler needing your attention, for your two older dcs tin can exist a challenge!
It is however wonderful having iv dcs but the logical problems and the fact that your older ii dcs are really only little themselves does hateful things tin can be a challenge at times. If you lot delayed having your fourth for a few years yous would probably find things easier since y'all wouldn't have a toddler on your easily too every bit a baby, but then unfortunately you would be getting older and the age gap would exist bigger which you may not want.
I feel a bit bad being negative most a fourth because my fourth has completed my family and I'g so happy I've got her, but telling you that there isn't much deviation betwixt a tertiary and a 4th would be untrue in my stance; although ages of the children can make a huge difference to someone's experience of having 4 dcs.
Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
logistical problems not logical issues!
I'one thousand 40 and but about to take my 3rd. I'm exhausted at 34 weeks. I know I could not manage some other. Merely you really know if y'all could cope.
Hopeforever Friday 31-Aug-12 14:32:41
What nigh cost?
Canyou fit 4 kids in the back of your motorcar?
Can you afford pond lessons for 4, 4 pairs of school shoes, trainers etc
The decision needs to be yours as you know what yous tin can handle.
I had my fourth at 39. Kids now aged 8 xi 13 and 16 years.
Iii is non much dissimilar to four actually.
I don't think you are likewise old at all but it depends how you feel yourself as others have said. I had my 4th just before my 39th birthday. At that time DS was 4 & 1 month, DD1 was 2y 9m and DD3 was 19m. I found that my listen was gear up for dealing with nappies, naps etc. I also found the even nos (2nd & 4th) easier to cope with but that might just be my experience. My lot are now 17, sixteen, fourteen & xiii.
Old? forty isn't former or at least it's as old as yous brand information technology. My mother is downright quondam at 60 every bit she acts it, but my FIL at the aforementioned age just hiked circular Mexico. But you know what you lot tin can cope with just put information technology this way, are you going to get younger of a sudden? Cos if non, these are the breaks. Course j take a massive self interest here every bit I'1000 trying for another and volition be 40 adjacent year 
I had my quaternary when I was 37 with very small gaps of about a year and a half each. It was exhausting and I had no family help, although DH began to work from home and without that it would be hard to manage. You do demand an actress pair of hands, I found.
My youngest is iii at present and things are a little easier but like others said, I do detect expenses are high and also juggling the ferrying around gets tricky. Every extra child is extra things to worry and think about, a different personality, unlike needs, etc
Having said all of that I never regret for 1 single minute having my 4, I would never change it for the world. Also they are a really great team, they do fight but they are very shut and then I'd say if yous can master the free energy go for it!!!
Your not onetime. Its sounds like you would regret not going for a fourth. You just demand to piece of work out the logistics, have you got any assistance? What historic period would be the latest you lot would want the 4th?
I am pregnant with my fourth (biased) at 34 and my concluding! I am finding the pregnancy really tough just excited to complete the family.
I had my fourth at 38, nrly 39 and I Love having four. My quaternary baby is the nearly easy going baby ever, though. She just fits in with anybody.
My kids are at present 8,v,iv and 15 months
I had my 3rd when I was 42.
Yes I was tired just I wouldn't have changed it. Tiredness passes and at present DC3 is older (3 yrs) and he is in Nursery for some of the week things are getting easier.
All the same, you practise audio tired. I think information technology is quite unusual to need an hours daytime nap everyday at you 38.
I never had 3 as I had twins who were 3&4. I constitute the leap pretty massive though. Needed bigger firm, car etc. We did get away occasionally on holiday but it is out of the question every year, every outing tin seem similar an expedition, trying to watch them all etc. Only we have a due south skillful time in the Britain. It is VERY expensive when they are older and there is iv at cubs/swimming etc. It can't have been that bad equally I have a 5th at present. He had severe reflux and stopped animate etc and was in/out of hospital likewise as not sleeping at all for the outset few weeks at night! That was tough with having to do the school run! I am mid 30s. Life is chaos but I love information technology.
Iv isn't much harder than iii - but I wasn't able to carry babies afterward having my last at 38. No reason why, had five babies very easily, no medical issues, always savage pregnant hands, easy labours, etc. Merely although we would have liked another child I had iv miscarriages betwixt 39 and 42 all under 12 weeks. My GP only said that the quality of my eggs was no longer expert enough to be viable and it was nature'due south way, which I believe was true. Not wanting to be doom and gloom, and some women have babies into their 40s. But this is really a minority of women. At 40 there is a 33% chance of miscarriage even if you lot practise excogitate. I wouldn't want to discourage anyone from having more children, but it is naive to say to anyone wanting a child at around 40 'oh you're not onetime'. Because you are in terms of kid bearing. And I honestly think you lot need to remember nearly the fact that having another child might not be your selection at this age. Information technology might exist nature's.
I remember if y'all have to ask, then don't exercise it.
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